We all have heard the saying- ‘boys don’t cry’ or in some cases ‘don’t cry like a girl’ (as if tear ducts are only a part of a girl’s anatomy). This idealism is in fact so ingrained in our society that men don’t openly emote, because if they do- that puts a question mark on their masculinity. The way men deal with their emotions, feelings and mental health is always under intense scrutiny. Because of this, a lot of men have been living in emotional suppression.
So once while watching a movie together, I caught one of my guy friends crying during one emotional scene in the film. When he saw that I saw him crying he said ‘I’m Sorry!’ and that’s when it struck me- I am also crying on the same scene and so is he, then why my crying is OK whereas he is supposed be Sorry?
This is the scene from one of my favourite movie- Kal Ho Na Ho that made us cry. via GIPHY
That day I really felt the divide that society has imposed on men and women in terms of expression of emotions.
But luckily for us now, with changing times this wall is getting thinner and *enter* S.N.A.Gs (Sensitive New Aged Men) have made their presence felt.
And you must have seen this video going viral across the internet where talented Indian actor Ayushmann Khurrana can be seen donning the hat of a poet to deliver a hard-hitting message on gender stereotyping.
This video makes the viewers recognize the progressive gentlemen in their lives and also, appreciate them. Must say, a very well thought of campaign for International Men’s Day by The Man Company.
There is a line in this video that touched me – We want to be with a gentleman but the not a ‘gentle’ man. That’s the idealistic picture of men that needs to be changed.
But one could say- Men are not supposed to be too emotional also else they come across as unattractive…
Well, did you know? As a result of a study conducted on women’s parameters of choosing their partner, 81% of women preferred men who showed their emotional side than those who didn’t. (Where did the Macho guys go now?)
What does it mean?
It means, that there is something attractive in such men and now I’ll share exactly what-
So Basically, Men Who Cry-
They Are Emotionally Rich
Yes. In a world where we are surrounded by materialistic wealth, the men who cry are endowed with emotional wealth as well. That’s pretty rare to find actually. Such type of men genuinely feel emotions and give valued reciprocation to them too.
They Are Courageous
Men who break free of their conditioning to not cry are the furthest thing from weak, they are courageous. They don’t shy away from showing their partners those moments of weakness that they experience. They own it like a boss!
They Challenge Baseless Societal Norms
As I said above, our society has always discouraged men to cry and vent out. But the men who are not afraid to shed tears are the ones who boldly challenge this norm. They are capable enough to accept they have feelings and the way they choose to express it.
All these qualities separate the idea of idealist ‘Macho-Man” from the actual ‘Real Man’. Now it is up to you what you wish to go for. The society may have propagated that Real men don’t cry (but let’s be honest) Men who cry are REAL.
So next time you see/meet a guy who openly expresses his emotions…before judging him, think about what you read just now!
Tell me about your experiences in the comments below. Would love to read them.
An interesting discussion is value comment. I feel that it is best to write extra on this subject, it may not be a taboo subject however typically individuals are not sufficient to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers