As a teenager when I used to watch chat shows, sometimes the host would ask this question to the celebrity- ‘If you could give one advice to your younger self what would that be?’ So I used to stand in front of the mirror, imagine myself as the celebrity and give my answer for the host.
Little did I know that one day I would be writing a blog on the same; reflecting on the past 2 decades of my life and what it has taught me.
Honestly, I have made my fair share of mistakes in personal and professional arena and I have learnt a LOT from those! So I’d be sharing some life lessons that I have been tutored on by people, situations I’ve dealt with in my life so far. Hopefully they’d help you make the right decisions and life choices in your 30s better.
Well, I turned 30 this year! YES the big 3-0! And it is rather an emotional blog for me as it gives me an insight to the kind of person I definitely will & won’t be in my years to come… Reflecting about what I have learned in the past was a wonderful process and sharing that with you guys is a great experience in itself.
So read on to know some life lessons taught me in personal and professional space, Hope some of these resonate with you-
1. Happiness is Subjective
For some it might be earning X amount of money, owning X brand of clothes/ cars etc. but for some it might be sipping hot chocolate and appreciating the wonderful view on a chilly winter morning. You can’t define whose happiness scores more. What you can choose is what makes you happy though 🙂
You may like to Read- 5 Simple Ways You Can Be A Happy Person
2. You Can’t Love People Into Loving You
You can’t convince someone to love you the way you deserve. It’s either someone loves you, or they don’t. It’s either they want to stay, or they don’t. Stop waiting for someone’s potential. Most of the time, people are who they are, and you can’t wait around for them to be who you want or need.
3. Stop Forcing Relationships/ Friendships
This is an extension to the previous point. Just like love, you cannot force friendships too. It is possible that your best friends fade away with time and people who you meet unexpectedly/ randomly become your best friends for life! Stop pleading people to stay in your life. The ones who would want to will stay anyway. Rest, don’t matter.
4. Work On Yourself Instead Of Competing With Others
No matter how much effort you put in being the ‘ideal’ spouse, employee, student etc. there will always be someone better, more accomplished than you. Don’ take it in negative, instead compete with yourself. Be a better version of yourself with each passing day!
5. Compassion, Kindness Are Invaluable Virtues To Adapt
We live in a world that’s so mean at various levels. In wake of being acceptable, we tend to become cold hearted and emotionless at some point. The only way to have some hope in humanity is when people show some compassion towards humans and animals.
6. It is OK to Be Not OK
You should be able to cry when you feel like, shout when you are mad and take time out when you are overburdened. No one needs to be OK all the time…actually no one can be OK all the time. We are humans afterall.
7. Embrace Your REAL Self
Your 20s are a period where you want to be a part of the ‘cool crowd’ and in that, you tend to loose connection with the REAL self…simply because you try to become like everyone else. So chuck that, and embrace your YOU-NIQUENESS. Shy, weird, extrovert, stupid, crazy whatever it is – it is YOU!
8. Let GO
Don’t hold on to a toxic job, materialistic possessions or your partner simply because they are comfortable and secure…and you don’t know what to do after you let them go. Trust me, sometimes you hurt yourself more by holding on than by letting go. Life becomes better when you detach from toxicity in your life.
9. Health Is Important
In your 20s we are swamped with social life and work that we hardly focus on a balanced diet or working out regularly, forget meditation! But friends let me tell you that health is important. I mean Physical and Mental! Start eating healthy and practicing inner peace techniques. We need it to live happily.
10. Set Your Standards High
Yes. Be it your job, partner, salary, morals, ethics- make sure you don’t settle for anything less than your thought standards. It is easy to devalue and accept whatever comes your way but it takes guts to adhere to your standards, Are you gutsy?
11. Learn To Say NO
It is important for a healthy life. You cannot be doing everything that is being asked for. Learn to draw a line. Enough said.
12. Sort Your Finances
No matter how carefree we all wanna live but I hate to admit bills gotta be paid. It is important to have substantial savings and an easy way for that is to start saving atleast 10% of your salary every month.
12. Wisely Choose The People Who You Surround Yourself With
A person’s character is a reflection of the people he surrounds himself with. So choose wisely.
13. Have Conversations With Yourself
Who talks to themselves? You may ask…but it is scientifically proven that people who talk to themselves are better at problem-solving and making correct decisions. Talking oneself or thinking out loud clears gaps in thinking and smoothens the cognitive capacity. Think about it, who would know the solutions to your problems? YOU.
14. Stay Connected
With people who you REALLY love. We often tend to push the real talk with our loved ones owing to stress at work or busy social life. It is later that we realize that we lost out on real connections while we were prioritizing shitty ones.
15. Social Media
Can Be Is Toxic
I gotta admit, even though I am a digital media professional; I HATE Social Media. Nothing on it is real. It is so deceptive and it influences people’s outlook towards themselves and towards others. It is advisable NOT to believe everything that you see on social media and sooner you understand it, better it is for you.
16. Priority No.1 Should Be YOU
You’re the only one responsible for your own life and happiness, so if you’re not going to prioritize yourself, then where’s the fun in that.
17. Accept Failures
There is one thing to believe ‘I will succeed’ and there is another to believe ‘I can never fail’ Always strive for the former. That’ll make you work hard to achieve success but if you fail, you’ll learn a lesson for next time. However, if you follow the latter, you are bound to fall prey to overconfidence and bigger failures.
18. You Will Change Over Time
Don’t start being rigid in your wants and desires from life YET. You’re a work-in-progress. You’re always evolving, changing, learning. Just flow with it. It’ll make you a lot more happier and content.
19. Stay Away From Being Stereotyped
This society has a habit of labeling everything. A woman who is 30 SHOULD be married and be a mother by now. A 28 yr old man SHOULD have a stable job/income and should think of getting married. A 60 yr old SHOULDN’T have experimental choices. Break Free from the shackles of these stereotypes and live your life the way YOU want to live.
20. Parents Are Your BEST Friends
Last but the MOST important life lesson I learnt is- Parents are/will always be your well wishers, no matter how you treat them. Everyone could possibly leave your back when you are in need but your parents will be by your side as a rock! So love them with all your heart as they want nothing but love from you.
So, these were some of the life lessons I thought I’d share with you all. Though life is still teaching me a lot these days too, but I’ll keep that for ‘Lessons learnt in my 30s’ Hahaha. Comment below and let me know your thoughts and what life has taught you so far.